B.I.T.C.H.
Being
In
Total
Control of
Herself
One of my goals in life is to be that. In total control of myself. Sure, most people who think they know me have decided I'm already one of those, but they don't really know me. Actually, my nearest and dearest know full well that, although I was raised by the Queen B of all, I was never taught how to be one myself. It would mean competition, you know.
So, I was raised to be polite, never piss anyone off, fear ANYONE in even the slightest authority over me, don't be fat (HA-HA on her! That's the one area in which she failed at controlling me!), and always remember that I'll always be wrong.
Guess what you get when you raise a child that way?
A Sucker.
You get a Sucker who's always polite (even to would-be rapists), scared of EVER making anyone even a little bit angry (even if said Sucker is being shat on), resents authority with a passion (even if the Sucker gave their power away, which is something else they do automatically), fatter than ever, and the best debate-team member you ever saw (I'm tellin' ya, don't argue with me-- I won awards for winning in debate!).
You also run the risk of getting a person who is probably very nice, but has a few anger issues.
Most Suckers I know are actually afraid of getting angry! Because we never learned how to express it in a healthy way, we're a little worried we might haul off and clobber someone a whole bunch of times accidentally, and end up in jail, or maybe in the hospital or something. And then the person we got mad at would be so pissed!
We don't return things we buy if they don't work, because we don't want to make the employee we deal with mad.
I'm learning, though. I used to just have my kids do it for me, and would stand next to them and look threatening. My kids say I'm a wimp, and they're right. Last time this happened, they made ME do the return, while THEY stood around and looked threatening! Progress!
If a (probably perfectly nice) man acts interested in me, especially if he says, "Can I have your phone number?" guess what I do? Go on, guess!
I RUN AWAY! Literally! Because I know that if I'm polite, he'll take advantage of it and not leave me alone (people can usually sense suckerism in another person). And if I don't immediately remove myself from his space, I'm fully capable of losing control and shoving him backwards, away from me, most likely injuring him in the process. I'm that scared!
Once when that happened, I ran and hid in the ladies' room for god knows how long, checking occasionally to see if he'd left the store yet.
But I've made Progress! Now if a man gets that interested look on his face, I make sure not to make eye contact again, kind of like you do when you're at Sears and have to pass the major appliance sections on your way to the bathroom-- you keep your eyes averted from the sales people so they don't try to talk to you.
My friends can't understand this.
Well, that's because they weren't raised with the same firm (and I mean firm-- hard, as a matter of fact) hand that I was.
I successfully raised 4 kids into phenomenal adults (remember, THEY'RE not afraid to return things at the store!), but I can't even stand up for myself in the smallest of situations. I've never had a problem standing up for them or any of my friends, but I cave when it's about me.
Well, HEAR ME ROAR! No more wimpy wienieness for me! Okay, LESS wimpy wienieness, anyway.
Remember, Progress!
B.I.T.C.H. -- someday.
In
Total
Control of
Herself
One of my goals in life is to be that. In total control of myself. Sure, most people who think they know me have decided I'm already one of those, but they don't really know me. Actually, my nearest and dearest know full well that, although I was raised by the Queen B of all, I was never taught how to be one myself. It would mean competition, you know.
So, I was raised to be polite, never piss anyone off, fear ANYONE in even the slightest authority over me, don't be fat (HA-HA on her! That's the one area in which she failed at controlling me!), and always remember that I'll always be wrong.
Guess what you get when you raise a child that way?
A Sucker.
You get a Sucker who's always polite (even to would-be rapists), scared of EVER making anyone even a little bit angry (even if said Sucker is being shat on), resents authority with a passion (even if the Sucker gave their power away, which is something else they do automatically), fatter than ever, and the best debate-team member you ever saw (I'm tellin' ya, don't argue with me-- I won awards for winning in debate!).
You also run the risk of getting a person who is probably very nice, but has a few anger issues.
Most Suckers I know are actually afraid of getting angry! Because we never learned how to express it in a healthy way, we're a little worried we might haul off and clobber someone a whole bunch of times accidentally, and end up in jail, or maybe in the hospital or something. And then the person we got mad at would be so pissed!
We don't return things we buy if they don't work, because we don't want to make the employee we deal with mad.
I'm learning, though. I used to just have my kids do it for me, and would stand next to them and look threatening. My kids say I'm a wimp, and they're right. Last time this happened, they made ME do the return, while THEY stood around and looked threatening! Progress!
If a (probably perfectly nice) man acts interested in me, especially if he says, "Can I have your phone number?" guess what I do? Go on, guess!
I RUN AWAY! Literally! Because I know that if I'm polite, he'll take advantage of it and not leave me alone (people can usually sense suckerism in another person). And if I don't immediately remove myself from his space, I'm fully capable of losing control and shoving him backwards, away from me, most likely injuring him in the process. I'm that scared!
Once when that happened, I ran and hid in the ladies' room for god knows how long, checking occasionally to see if he'd left the store yet.
But I've made Progress! Now if a man gets that interested look on his face, I make sure not to make eye contact again, kind of like you do when you're at Sears and have to pass the major appliance sections on your way to the bathroom-- you keep your eyes averted from the sales people so they don't try to talk to you.
My friends can't understand this.
Well, that's because they weren't raised with the same firm (and I mean firm-- hard, as a matter of fact) hand that I was.
I successfully raised 4 kids into phenomenal adults (remember, THEY'RE not afraid to return things at the store!), but I can't even stand up for myself in the smallest of situations. I've never had a problem standing up for them or any of my friends, but I cave when it's about me.
Well, HEAR ME ROAR! No more wimpy wienieness for me! Okay, LESS wimpy wienieness, anyway.
Remember, Progress!
B.I.T.C.H. -- someday.
Lori finally stopped procrastinating at 5:16 PM
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