Happy Mother's Day!
Here's the card my Darling Daughters made for me for Mother's Day. 
Sweet, huh? They wrote "Maummy" on the front. Gee, I wonder how they came up with that?
Guess what I did today?
I fell on my ass. Literally. In front of several hundred (yes, that's literally, too) people who were milling around in front of the church, taking pictures of their kids and families for First Holy Communion. I am not exaggerating.
I had to park a couple of blocks away, so that meant I had to carry my guitar case, my briefcase (with my music in it), my guitar stand, my music stand, and my purse (which slipped down off my shoulder and twisted around my wrist). By myself. The Daughters stayed home to sleep off getting things ready for today.
Got almost directly in front of the church, and my heel caught in a raised piece of sidewalk. Damned heel. Damned sidewalk. Oh, wait-- the sidewalk can't be damned; it's Church property. Scratch the sidewalk.
As I very gracefully galumphed forward, trying to regain my balance, I thought, "I should be upright by now. I'm not upright." So I aimed for the soft, cushiony grass, because by then I was thinking, "Goin' down. I'm goin' down." I couldn't get upright because my briefcase and guitar weigh probably 30 pounds together, and the weight was preventing me-- like a boulder going downhill. Momentum, you know. Inertia.
Too bad the grass caught my heel again. And as I was aiming to kiss the ground, my instinctive reaction was to toss everything I was carrying and block my fall with my hands. But I really suck at obeying my instincts.
So then I started thinking, "Not the hands. Protect hands." And, "Not the guitar. Protect guitar with my life."
And oh, so gracefully, I did a turn in the air, curled my back, and landed on my bee-hind first, rolled up onto my shoulders, and came to a stop. Incredibly, I was still holding my briefcase AND guitar. See what 3 years of judo can teach a girl? I guess you never completely forget how to fall correctly. Well, thank God for that, huh?
Several people came over to help, and I almost had to push one woman away, she was so insistent on getting me to sit down. I finally convinced her I didn't want to, and she left. She was one of those Very Intense People.
Later, as I was setting up inside, I looked out and thought, "Boy. It's a good thing these aren't the people who were outside when I ate it. Those people were from the earlier Mass." WRONG. A little girl sitting nearby looked at me all wide-eyed, started pointing at me, and said something very excitedly to her parents. Then she looked at me and grinned. I sincerely hope I made her day.
I didn't get any grass stains. Actually, I didn't care if I got any. I just wanted my guitar to be okay! And it was-- didn't even go out of tune.
Sweet, huh? They wrote "Maummy" on the front. Gee, I wonder how they came up with that?
Guess what I did today?
I fell on my ass. Literally. In front of several hundred (yes, that's literally, too) people who were milling around in front of the church, taking pictures of their kids and families for First Holy Communion. I am not exaggerating.
I had to park a couple of blocks away, so that meant I had to carry my guitar case, my briefcase (with my music in it), my guitar stand, my music stand, and my purse (which slipped down off my shoulder and twisted around my wrist). By myself. The Daughters stayed home to sleep off getting things ready for today.
Got almost directly in front of the church, and my heel caught in a raised piece of sidewalk. Damned heel. Damned sidewalk. Oh, wait-- the sidewalk can't be damned; it's Church property. Scratch the sidewalk.
As I very gracefully galumphed forward, trying to regain my balance, I thought, "I should be upright by now. I'm not upright." So I aimed for the soft, cushiony grass, because by then I was thinking, "Goin' down. I'm goin' down." I couldn't get upright because my briefcase and guitar weigh probably 30 pounds together, and the weight was preventing me-- like a boulder going downhill. Momentum, you know. Inertia.
Too bad the grass caught my heel again. And as I was aiming to kiss the ground, my instinctive reaction was to toss everything I was carrying and block my fall with my hands. But I really suck at obeying my instincts.
So then I started thinking, "Not the hands. Protect hands." And, "Not the guitar. Protect guitar with my life."
And oh, so gracefully, I did a turn in the air, curled my back, and landed on my bee-hind first, rolled up onto my shoulders, and came to a stop. Incredibly, I was still holding my briefcase AND guitar. See what 3 years of judo can teach a girl? I guess you never completely forget how to fall correctly. Well, thank God for that, huh?
Several people came over to help, and I almost had to push one woman away, she was so insistent on getting me to sit down. I finally convinced her I didn't want to, and she left. She was one of those Very Intense People.
Later, as I was setting up inside, I looked out and thought, "Boy. It's a good thing these aren't the people who were outside when I ate it. Those people were from the earlier Mass." WRONG. A little girl sitting nearby looked at me all wide-eyed, started pointing at me, and said something very excitedly to her parents. Then she looked at me and grinned. I sincerely hope I made her day.
I didn't get any grass stains. Actually, I didn't care if I got any. I just wanted my guitar to be okay! And it was-- didn't even go out of tune.
Lori finally stopped procrastinating at 5:24 PM
6 Comments:
YOU ROCK THAT ASS DROP!
That's right, ROCK IT!
WOOOOOO!!!
})i({ Hilary, the good notasweirdastheothers kid })i({
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C21lHChjlC8&search=Scotland - you will like this.
That was you???!!! We felt that all the way over here, and stuff was falling out of our cabinets! The parking area in front of our apartment was rolling, in waves! [You're making me laugh=) ]
It's good you weren't hurt. Another friend of mine feel just over a week ago and broke a leg. She fractured her tibia near the knee, and has to wear a brace for 8 weeks to keep the knee immobile, and she must put no weight at all on that foot. Real bummer. So be careful and respect gravity.
Keith
I definitely respect gravity- it's why I don't Rollerblade anymore. And I truly hope your friend heals quickly and well, and that she doesn't drive a stick-shift. I'll be asking for updates.
Wow, that's definitely spooky. Is her Subaru a stick shift? Did you know insurance rates for sticks are lower than for automatics? I wonder how much Mariposa County pays for vehicle insurance, since their county vehicles are Subarus?
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