Happy Lincoln
"People are about as happy as they make up their mind to be."
--Abraham Lincoln
How true is that?! Think about it-- how many people have you met who seem to have everything going for them, looks, jobs, homes, cars, plenty of money, but they're just no fun to be around? In fact, spending more than a little bit of time with them leaves you feeling a little (or a lot) drained and maybe depressed or grumpy?
People like that are what I call "Spiritual Vampires." They suck the energy right out of you because the only kind they can produce on their own is all negative. The only thing they seem to want to share with anyone else is their misery. Sometimes it even seems like once they've dumped on you, they're a lot cheerier than you are!
When I see people like that heading in my direction, I try to disappear. Not always possible, though. So, a friend told me something that really works: either cross your arms in front of you (maybe it looks like "go away" in body language to the vampire), or don't look them directly in the eye. Instead, look at the space between their eyes-- they don't seem to notice it, and just jabber away. Somehow it really seems to help deflect the negativity-swap thing.
Occasionally these vampires seem to be real upbeat and friendly, but leave you feeling blah and empty. I know more than my fair share of these creatures. Once, at work, a vampire (I call her "Miss Gloom and Doom") told a group of us some pretty disturbing gossip about how many hours we'd be getting (actually, not getting), and she seemed so satisfied to be telling us this that I lost my temper, and said, in front of everyone (usually I keep things like that for private moments), "_____, don't you EVER have anything POSITIVE to say???"
People like that just aren't happy people.
On the other hand, there are people with almost nothing to their name, sickness in a family member (or themselves), an abusive relationship going on, or something else that would seemingly prevent them from being truly happy, but they are. They talk to you and leave you feeling really glad they were there, because they put out good energy (by the way, this energy I'm talking about has been proven scientifically to exist, it's measurable).
But it's not false cheer, it's genuine happiness with life.
I know someone with a husband and two kids who were living out of their camper on a broken-down truck, and you know what? She was grateful she had that much. (She's doing much better now.) She literally brought her family to work with her, because it was her only means of transportation, and they didn't have anywhere else to park while she was at work.
She's STILL upbeat, and admits when things aren't so great, but the non-great things that happen aren't the things she dwells on.
You know why? You know why people who just give off good energy are like that?
Because they CHOOSE to be happy. They know it's up to themselves, not other people. And they aren't blamers. If there's something that could cause true unhappiness, they acknowlege it, admit it's there, do what they can about it, and then move on to something else.
True, maybe this woman was a world-class actress, but somehow I don't think so. I've heard her talk about too many things, and she's pragmatic. She's not a "happy" person living in denial.
Also, lots and lots of people have baggage. Hell, we ALL do. But happy people don't insist on having other people carry their baggage for them. They know it's their baggage, their responsibility, so they'll carry it themselves, thank you very much.
I also know a couple of people who are former Spiritual Vampires, went and got help, and now they're happy and full of good energy.
Because they made up their minds to be.
Okay.
I solemnly vow that I will remember to choose to be happy. I will not try to give my baggage to other people to carry. I will carry it myself, acknowlege I have it, work on lightening the load, and not bitch about how heavy it is.
--Abraham Lincoln
How true is that?! Think about it-- how many people have you met who seem to have everything going for them, looks, jobs, homes, cars, plenty of money, but they're just no fun to be around? In fact, spending more than a little bit of time with them leaves you feeling a little (or a lot) drained and maybe depressed or grumpy?
People like that are what I call "Spiritual Vampires." They suck the energy right out of you because the only kind they can produce on their own is all negative. The only thing they seem to want to share with anyone else is their misery. Sometimes it even seems like once they've dumped on you, they're a lot cheerier than you are!
When I see people like that heading in my direction, I try to disappear. Not always possible, though. So, a friend told me something that really works: either cross your arms in front of you (maybe it looks like "go away" in body language to the vampire), or don't look them directly in the eye. Instead, look at the space between their eyes-- they don't seem to notice it, and just jabber away. Somehow it really seems to help deflect the negativity-swap thing.
Occasionally these vampires seem to be real upbeat and friendly, but leave you feeling blah and empty. I know more than my fair share of these creatures. Once, at work, a vampire (I call her "Miss Gloom and Doom") told a group of us some pretty disturbing gossip about how many hours we'd be getting (actually, not getting), and she seemed so satisfied to be telling us this that I lost my temper, and said, in front of everyone (usually I keep things like that for private moments), "_____, don't you EVER have anything POSITIVE to say???"
People like that just aren't happy people.
On the other hand, there are people with almost nothing to their name, sickness in a family member (or themselves), an abusive relationship going on, or something else that would seemingly prevent them from being truly happy, but they are. They talk to you and leave you feeling really glad they were there, because they put out good energy (by the way, this energy I'm talking about has been proven scientifically to exist, it's measurable).
But it's not false cheer, it's genuine happiness with life.
I know someone with a husband and two kids who were living out of their camper on a broken-down truck, and you know what? She was grateful she had that much. (She's doing much better now.) She literally brought her family to work with her, because it was her only means of transportation, and they didn't have anywhere else to park while she was at work.
She's STILL upbeat, and admits when things aren't so great, but the non-great things that happen aren't the things she dwells on.
You know why? You know why people who just give off good energy are like that?
Because they CHOOSE to be happy. They know it's up to themselves, not other people. And they aren't blamers. If there's something that could cause true unhappiness, they acknowlege it, admit it's there, do what they can about it, and then move on to something else.
True, maybe this woman was a world-class actress, but somehow I don't think so. I've heard her talk about too many things, and she's pragmatic. She's not a "happy" person living in denial.
Also, lots and lots of people have baggage. Hell, we ALL do. But happy people don't insist on having other people carry their baggage for them. They know it's their baggage, their responsibility, so they'll carry it themselves, thank you very much.
I also know a couple of people who are former Spiritual Vampires, went and got help, and now they're happy and full of good energy.
Because they made up their minds to be.
Okay.
I solemnly vow that I will remember to choose to be happy. I will not try to give my baggage to other people to carry. I will carry it myself, acknowlege I have it, work on lightening the load, and not bitch about how heavy it is.
Lori finally stopped procrastinating at 7:18 PM
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