Naughty, Naughty!

Man, use one correct anatomical word in a blog, and the whole world beats its way to your door. (I was going to say, "beats a path," but that's a clich矇, and they're so trite!)

I am not kidding. There have been so many people from ALL OVER THE WORLD looking at my "penis" post. Some of them came more than once. Don't those people sleep? Guess not.

My site meter allows me to pretty much spy on whoever comes to this blog, and I can see their URLs. Let me tell you, some of those people's blogs are NASTY!!! And they have such innocent names. I avoided the more unsavory-named ones for fear of picking up a virus. No ass-gaskets for websites, unfortunately. Excuse me, I meant "toilet seat covers." I'd be afraid to walk on their bathroom floors, even in steel-toed boots.

I once Googled myself, and it was so embarrassing! You should SEE the search words and sites that keep me company-- I never knew "Suckers, Anonymous" could be so obscene. Strange bedpartners, indeed.

I mean, I could have used euphemisms for "penis." Like wang. Or joystick. Or burrito. Now see what I've done? I have written purely innocuous words, and now I'm going out on the World Wide Web and will show up for all the perverts out there who are looking for a quick trick.

*For anyone reading this, maybe you'll have been bright enough to notice all the double entendres I've used throughout this post. THOSE will pop up, too, how much do you want to bet?

Isn't the English language FUN?